Dear, lovely Readers…
Forgive the heavy content today, but there is something important that I need to say to all of you:
If I have ever written anything on this blog that has been offensive, disrespectful, insensitive or inappropriate in any way, I. AM. SO. SORRY. Really guys – I am. It has come to my attention that this rogue mouth of mine has delivered unsavory feelings to some of my readers at times. Not only does that make my heart hurt because of how it has made YOU feel; it also pains me because nothing could be further from the true intention of this blog and the feelings I wish for it to evoke. For all of my imprudent banter and inane popping-off, it scarcely occurs to me that this could fall on the side of reckless, demeaning, and disrespectful. And my negligence of that fact is nothing short of irresponsible and insensitive. I’m a grown woman. I ought to know better. Those of you who know me personally and well can verify that I’ve been guilty far too often of using off-color remarks and unorthodox commentary. It’s admittedly been a weakness of mine for as long as I can remember. Well, it’s one thing to not take yourself too seriously and to be silly and light-hearted. It’s quite another when ‘silliness’ turns to carelessness, and word choice unintentionally turns to the belittling, the demeaning, and the unkind. Unintentional or not, the last thing on earth that I EVER want to be is any of those things. And I am so, so sorry for instances when I’ve been guilty of such here on this blog, and/or elsewhere.
To give you some context for all this, there was a recent post in which I used the word ‘Tard’ to describe myself while making goofy faces into the camera. I’m ashamed to say that this is just ONE instance in which my flippant and careless word choice was massively inappropriate and offensive. Unfortunately, it is not an isolated incident. In this particular instance, someone kindly and courageously reached out to call the offense to my attention. I want to share with you what was shared with me: “Tard” is obviously short for “retard” or “retarded”. It is a very negative reference to a mentally delayed or disabled individual. Even when used as a joke to describe a person of normal intelligence, it is offensive because it is ultimately referencing back with cruel belittlement to an innocent person who is disabled. The term was heavily used in the mid 1980s and early 90s before society began to understand the insensitivity behind it. It is not used anymore by educated individuals. It isn’t one of those slang words that is up for debate or personal opinion as to whether it is offensive. It is unequivocally known to be offensive and unkind. To refer to one’s negative, ugly, goofy, or awkward “faces” or behavior as being a “tard” or “retarded” makes my heart ache with sorrow for those mentally disabled who may not be as physically beautiful or immaculately fashioned as some, but who are worlds above us in a kind of deep, meaningful beauty that we “normal” people can only hope and pray we may attain.’ Daggers, you guys. Daggers to my heart, because all of that is SO TRUE, and I feel so humbled and ashamed. I am compelled to share that with you in case there are others who would use such language without thinking, as I often do.
The truth is, for all the talk of clothes and shoes and that which is trivial and temporary that goes on here on the blog, simply by merit of its niche – all of that stuff falls SO LOW on the list of things that actually matter to me. At the end of the day, it all gravely pales in comparison to the things that otherwise occupy my time, thoughts and attention (i.e. God, husband, family, friends, goals, etc.). It’s important to me that you know that. Sure, it’s fun to dress up, to look good, to have a place to come and let loose and discuss life’s less weighty matters. But it is so much more important to be concerned with who you are and what you stand for, how you treat others and the type of character you’re developing and conveying in your words and actions. It’s important to be a force for what is right; to seize every opportunity in which you might be an enabler of positive change. The truest intention of this blog is to share only that which would uplift and inspire – that which is lovely, kind, wholesome and good. For all the instances in which I have deviated from that in any way, again – I genuinely apologize. Occasions of such have been unauthentic to who I want to be and what I want this space to represent and stand for.
Moving forward, I hope you’ll see a good change in me. I have no intentions of stripping myself of personality or my innate ‘goof-ball’ tendencies. I simply intend to be a better version of myself – one that is more mindful, more cognizant, and more sensitive. Words are important, and I intend to think through mine a little better before I let them take stage here.
To those of you who have had the courage to reach out to me directly concerning this topic, I wish to publicly thank you. I have been the fortunate recipient of not attacks or humiliating lashings, but private, gentle chastisements, expressing that you expect a little more of me. I’m so glad that you do. It takes courage to stand up for what you know to be right, and it takes character to find a way to do so compassionately. I admire you, and I am grateful for you.
To all of my readers: thank you for being patient with me. There is no shortage of faults, weaknesses or vanities in this girl. I will be the first to admit that I am deeply flawed, and that if I made you a list of all the attributes I wish I had or am striving to attain, it would be one real long list. With that being said, I can’t promise that another careless word won’t ever unintentionally slip onto these pages. I CAN promise though to make that my goal. Please keep helping me to be better. And thank you for the time you take to stop by here, for whatever the reason is. There are so many of you that I would refer to as friends without hesitation, and that makes me feel ever so blessed.
Please know, again, how genuinely sorry I am for any and all offensive words that have escaped these lips or fingertips. I so appreciate your understanding and forgiveness, and your belief in me that I can be better. I believe that too, and I intend to hold myself more closely to that standard from now on.
Have a ‘Feeling Humbled (in a good way) Friday’,
and may your week be filled with way more Woots than Woofs!